Care for the Caregiver

I knew I needed a break. I had gotten not just to the end of my rope, but too far past the end.

I get the results of all Molly’s lab tests right away through the patient portal, but then I have a long two weeks of waiting for the appointment with the doctor who will answer my questions and tell me what’s next. I hadn’t been able to sleep at night for the last couple of weeks. I’d been getting up to study Molly’s test results all night, researching what each of the results that are outside the normal range might mean. I was too tired to keep going, and I knew it.

I know that a caregiver must “put the oxygen mask on herself first”. I know that no one can keep pouring out from a cup that is empty. Even though I know these things, I kept stretching myself past reasonable limits.

A moment of clarity hit me like flipping a switch. I stopped studying Molly’s stuff a few days ago and made a list of what I needed for my own self care. I made an appointment with my doctor. I talked to “soul friends” on the phone, as well as with my own professional counselor. I thanked my husband for his ongoing support and checked in with him to be sure we are ok.

My doctor prescribed something to help me sleep. After a night or two of blessed uninterrupted deep sleep, everything seemed better. I regained my perspective. I am starting to think about longer range goals and feeling hope and optimism for the upcoming new year.

And I’m strongly considering making an appointment for a massage.